Adventures in Geocaching

Four fat people attempting to geocache. Hilarity ensues.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Monte Sano Strikes Back, Part 2

Well, as you have read in our last post, we made it to the bottom of the mountain, to Bushwhacker Johnston's trail, and were pretty proud of our successes. Tired, hurt, but proud. Of course, our victory was short-lived. We were down, but our cars were up. Uh oh...

Up... Such a small word for such a lot of pain. Old man gravity keeping us down again. Considering how much pain we were feeling from the trip down, I didn't feel terribly confident about our chances.

Fish, Mike, and I started up while the others were finishing off the last cache. We figured if we got ahead of them, we might gets a good deal of the way up before they caught us. We began to wonder if maybe we should have bugged out when Saintseester did, saving ourselves this embarrassment. But we're Zen Bassmasters. We can't take the easy way out, or even the moderately difficult way out. Nope. We've been challenged by the hobbits and we just have to do it the hardest way possible.

Unfortunately, nature decided to move the definition of "hard" a little to the right...

I wish I had some funny anecdotes or witty things to say about the trip up but, honestly, I don't. I don't really remember most of it. I know it hurt. A lot. The only thing that kept it from hurting more than the Jolly Green Debacle was the temperature. I remember cursing Rick mightily, using many of the same curses we used on the Jolly Green trail (did I mention we never learn?). I remember Fish being very possessive of one of the benches. I remember telling Fish I wasn't going to sit down because my muscles would stiffen up if I sat. I remember fighting Fish for the next bench down. I remember being caught and passed by the evil hobbit sympathizers, who seemed amused by our plight. I remember children who were running and skipping on the way down now plodding past us with dour looks on their faces. I remember Stephanie catching up to me and keeping pace with me, happy to find someone else who was having problems with the climb. Mostly, I remember pain. Pain in my legs and pain in my feet and pain in my back and pain in places that I can't mention on the blog.

Pain... But eventually, we began to hear cars, then see cars, then finally we see the little bridge just down from the parking lot. I can tell you that I've never loved a bridge so much in my life. If I weren't already married, I'd have proposed to that bridge. It's a wonderful bridge...

And finally, we make it out to the parking lot. The afore mentioned children are lying on the ground like they're dying. I feel like doing the same but I'm not sure I'll ever get up again if I do.

After some more time spent cursing Rick and saying our goodbyes to Stephanie, Taz, Parrgolf, and all the other dupes, er, "folks" who joined us on this adventure, we headed out to Beauregards to conquer the all you can eat chicken wings and lick our wounds.

I don't know if this one counts as a victory over the hobbity types or not. On the one hand, we met their challenge and we passed it. We walked right into their plan to kill us and came out alive. On the other hand, we suffered some injuries. Physical injuries and psychological injuries. Fish has already said no more hike events for him, at least for a while. And I tend to agree. We do this to lose weight and get into shape and, honestly, this hurt us enough to seriously hinder our walking regimen during the week.

So I guess we call this one a tie. But don't worry. We've already got a few thing planned for our hobbit-y friends to turn the battle back in our favor. Stay tuned...



Blogger saintseester said...

You know, I'm sitting here wondering why my back and knees hurt so much today, and just remembered - that ascent of death - we did it yesterday, complete with a discussion of corpses rolling down the hill and whether they could build up enough speed to roll up the other side - 11 year old son's observation.

8:55 PM  
Blogger cyrusels_alter_ego said...

You know, before you guys came onto the scene I almost quit geocaching -- too much stuff going on and not enough time, and I didn't make the time.. but with this new "Lord of the Rings" stuff going on, I have renewed vigor. You guys are awesome. Gee, all the Dixiecachers are... this is some fun stuff... Nurse your wounds, guys, we've got a war to fight! lol. (Yeah, I know I'm a little loopy.. it's no secret)

8:05 PM  
Anonymous Stephanie2427 said...

Thats how I remember the climb. Pain. Just a lot of pain.

6:37 AM  
Anonymous suppressant said...

Thank you a lot, the editorial is good due to its ease and brilliant opinion!

1:33 AM  
Blogger DARREN Winland said...

When I read your article I feel like I was 14-year-old boy, suffering from obesity...

5:41 AM  

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